Alv's Álfheimr

It is over... for good..

2009-01-04T00:16:00.003+08:00

I never thought I am able to sustain till this day. But I am glad everything turned out well. I give Thee thanks for sustaining and strengthening me, every step of the way.

It's about time...

2008-04-14T17:16:00.005+08:00

Time to move on lad.. You're already very much behind it to begin with.

It's a nightmare, that I can't seem to wake up from... So much affliction and damage. It's as if, I'm paralyzed, not being able to ever pick myself up again. I bear no hope, I dare not trust, nor do I know what want to believe anymore.

A life changing experience I'd say... A 180 one.. It's scary...

So, for your own sake, please wake up, and move on... Please.. I'm begging you... wake upppp...

She

2008-04-02T17:37:00.001+08:00

She
May be the face I cant forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No ones allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore Im alive
The one Ill care for through the rough in ready years
Me
Ill take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes Ive got to be
The meaning of my life is

She
She, oh she

Will I

2008-03-25T20:26:00.002+08:00

Will I Lose My Dignity
Will Someone Care
Will I Wake Tomorrow
From This Nightmare?

There Is No Future, There Is No Past
I Live This Moment, As My Last...

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss
No Other Road, No Other Way, No Day But Today..

Lessons

2008-03-08T17:33:00.003+08:00

Some lessons, you have to learn it the hard way, before you fully comprehend it; for me, I guess..

So many times, have I been warn before I tread down this road. But yet, I was so blinded, and let myself to subject to such merciless abuse. Again, and again, and again. Now, I'm heavily scarred. I do not know where to pick myself up. Everyday now, is a healing process. Stitching back the wounds inflicted. Each stitch stings, as the thread goes through the flesh, and out again.

How could I've been so silly, hoping that something good will come out of it.

Deception, deceitfulness, equivocation, sophism. Is that all to it?

Perhaps there was truth.. but how do I sieve it out?

I don't know what to believe.

Another day

2008-03-03T21:39:00.002+08:00

I cant let go, even if i wanted to.

I cant not care, even if i wanted to.

I really wish i can just not give a damn about it, and try and lead a happier life despite being where I am.

Each day is like a dread. Weekends are an illusion.

I find my rebellious self taking dominant.

I've made my choice, and am playing with my future. Standing alone, facing the oncoming slaughter of doubts.

You want so much from me, but yet not willing to give any in return. Or am I expecting too much because of what i've given you?

There is no peace nor rest. Even my dreams are haunted.

I don't know what to do...

I find no strength..

By His grace and mercy, I'm still here.. to face another day.

Haiz...

2008-02-09T13:47:00.000+08:00

You choose to play your cards in such a safe manner.

While I foolishly and stupidly, blindfold myself and nose dive straight in.

Perhaps my judgment has been clouded, perhaps I was deluded.

Perhaps, nothing good is going to come out of this... ...

And I was all along... playing the fool...

The Voices

2008-02-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

I'm going to miss it. Everything about it. It has been such a blessing, singing alongside such wonderful voices. Though I have not been an audience for such a long while, I guess I'll still rather be the one presenting.. Those all so awesome pieces.. absolutely mind blowing... That is one choir which I'll make a trip back just to listen to them..

=)

Bad Dreams

2008-01-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, they are more of a reality check. They revolve around your subconsciousness and inner most fears.

And what can I do? Nothing... Or more like I chose not to do anything about it. And why not? Because I'm just being a fool.. so lost... so lost...

Let

2007-12-25T12:51:00.000+08:00

Let me bleed.. Let it drip.. Let every ounce run dry, till there is nothing left..

Let sorrow consume me.. Let misery overwhelm me.. Let this be the last time..

Let a new beginning have it's chance.. Let me live..

Back to reality

2007-12-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

It sucks. It really really does. All the issues coming back to me, one by one for me to sit through it, again.

One is due in couple of weeks time, the other in 7 months. It gets so pointless and meaningless.

I hate life...

Take me with you, away from this crap will you D.... Haizzzzz...

D

2007-12-05T18:37:00.000+08:00

*Hugs! D, *Hugs!*.

I seriously think that we are going through the same abuse. I totally understand what you are going through. Though I do not have academic stress, the affliction that I'm facing is absolutely draining me and couple of times I almost met with an accident at work. As much as I try to keep my mind focus, the dynamic pace of flight line proves to be too overbearing, especially in this state of mine.

I really wish there is something that I can do to make you feel better. If it is of any comfort, I really do know the pain that you are experiencing.

*HUGS....*
I'll be here, if you need me... =)

Emptiness

2007-12-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

It seems to be boiling down to nothing. It seems far, further and further away. I feel like crying, but I've got no tears. Perhaps if I forget about it, it will not be so bad. Bid it Auf Wiedersehen, and move on, make my life a whole lot easier. Sigh.

I don't know what to say or react. I'm already numb to sorrow, but yet each time it reappears, I surrender unto it, only to be back in agony when it's gone. And over and over again it goes.. I'm so SM aren't I? I'm really getting very tired, but yet the devotion unto it keeps me hanging on. I want to hang on, but I'm really getting tired. It is draining and I can feel that I'm losing my grip. Time and time again, I question myself, is it worth it? So much pain for uncertainty. Is it? I won't know till I find out, but there will probably be nothing left of me by the time I get there.

Sometimes I wish a dagger will just stab me through my heart, or knock me into a coma, so that i won't have to experience the affliction. I really should try and forget about it and hopefully when the time comes, I'll still have the heart for it. But, am I able to? For I have already given so much. Too much to back out, too much to leave behind. Or perhaps I should cut my losses, before there is really nothing left of me.

I don' t know.

Round & Round

2007-11-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

We met so randomly, but yet it was awesome. You were great. Best I ever had. You followed well, graceful and beautiful. Round and round we went, so hard till we were actually perspiring! It's been such awhile, yet absolutely unforgettable.

Pleasant memories.
Hope we meet again.

Ridiculous

2007-11-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

Come to think of it, sometimes it is absolutely bloody ridiculous! When you cant sieve out the difference between truth and lies, it's really quite meaningless. If there is no trust, there is nothing to begin with. Because everything that is built upon can turn out to be nothing but a pack of lies...

SadoMasochistic

2007-11-19T10:51:00.000+08:00

To know that what holds dear to you is in the hands of others, yet you long and yearn for it. It's pure torment. Facing the affliction with each passing minute, just tears you apart. For you have no other option other than to let it go. But you do not want to, for it is precious to you. Thus, you willingly put yourself through that abuse, hopping that it doesn't screw you up too badly.

Every minute seems like eternity, time has slowed itself down to prolong that excruciating pain. You can no longer react. You feel numb. Numb to the torture, numb to your senses. And you begin to ask yourself, why are you doing this? Will it come to the point that you will also be numb to the very thing that you long for?

Stretched to your limits, you bite your teeth and hang on, enduring the abuse that splashes across you like a falling rain. Like acid burning, it slowly burns its way in, eroding everything in its path. It will not be long before there is anything left for you.

Will you survive?

ROARRR

2007-11-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

I really want to stop going to work. I feel so trapped in this crappy job. No rush factor they say.. ya right! Change timing without informing and expect us to be ready.. WTH! Sometimes, you ready wonder if they bought their symbol of authority instead, they are as good as not there. And for us junior guys, it can be scary. ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I REALLY HATE THIS JOB!

WTH

2007-10-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

As if my labor is not cheap enough.. I really hate my job...

I can only hope

2007-10-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

That, it will be beautiful. If not, i was just being a fool...

About 10 years

2007-09-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

Since I've gotten stitches. Received 5 new ones today, on my head!!! (of all places). Hit my head against the edge of a drooping panel. I could feel it piercing into my head before I find myself collapsing, with blood dripping to the ground. Using my right palm to press against the wound, it got covered in blood in no time. While I was on the ground, witnessing the blood drips, I realized; this is the first time in my life I've been such a state! With blood flowing from my head and all. Not that it was an enjoyable experience, but still...

Ok, don't really know what I'm saying. Guess I'm still alittle disoriented and all. Here's a pic. Not the best of shots, but, you get the idea.

This Day In History - Fit For Flight (FFF)

2007-09-17T18:18:00.000+08:00

Signed off my first jet, declaring that it is fit for flight. Putting down my signature above the dotted line has never seem so terrifying. Should anything, ANYTHING, happen to that jet or it simply did not return (due to crew error), my head will be on the chopping board, along with my 'boss' who counter signs it.

Better still, my first jet (which successful returned *WHEW!*) was a black knight jet, flown by a Lieutenant Colonel, who also happen to be the lead black knight pilot. http://asia.news.yahoo.com/070912/5/singapore299151.html. Damn stress. Imagine screwing up his jet. I'll be so so so gone... Oh well.. Thankfully all went well... But if under high time pressure and fatigue, it won't be so easy...

One Heck Of A Serve - Roddick

2007-09-12T21:16:00.001+08:00

This Day In History - Personal Evaluation (PE)

2007-09-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

Cleared PE in one attempt. Probably won't be so easy if I were in 140. Well, from this day forth, I'll be a qualified Crew Chief. I'll have my own jet to take care of and sign for.. Oh well... Hopefully I don't get a relapse of my 'depression'. Shouldn't...

May The Lord Have Mercy On Your Soul Pavor

2007-09-07T00:37:00.000+08:00

Yup. He's gone, for good, at 71. Luciano Pavoratti, world renowned tenor has departed from us. Part of the 3 tenors, his vocals has always been a joy to listen to. Don't know why, but I felt upset about his death. Such a pity, that such a great vocalist has left us. I think I'll be even more upset if the likes of Carreras, Brightman, Ball, Page etc departs...

Plain White Ts - Hey There Delilah - Official (HQ)

2007-09-05T00:18:00.001+08:00

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Donut Factory

2007-09-03T21:39:00.001+08:00

Enough Said. Definitely worth the wait. ;)
Oh, spot the bitten one.. hahahaha.. All thanks to A.. hahahaa

Everything I Have

2007-09-03T01:00:00.001+08:00

I feel like I never measure up to who you see
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need
You keep changing everyday
Amazing me in everyway.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you
I can only do my best
I have to trust you with the rest

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears
When life seems unclear
And when I can't be right there with you
I know there's angels by your side

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything... I have

Shoes... Can never get enough of it... Who Can?

2007-08-22T19:18:00.001+08:00

I need new tennis shoes, perhaps a pair of cross trainers too.. I want a pair of fancy golf shoes.. I lost my running shoes... I'm eyeing a sleak shiny black leather court shoes.. I long for a pair of leather slippers.. I have 8 pairs of shoes (including slippers & sandals) currently.. Wait, minus my lost running shoes, that will be 7 pairs. Plus my 2 army shoes, I've got 9 pairs. Hmmm... I think I need a new shoe cabinet all to myself..

The Battle of surface

2007-08-21T15:37:00.001+08:00

A! Check this video out! You're so gonna love it! ;)

Jeff Buttle - High

2007-08-10T18:51:00.001+08:00

I hate being short sighted

2007-08-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

Wait, correction. I hate being so darn short sighted. Think I have mention this before, but somehow, it keeps coming back to haunt me somehow. I JUST HATE BEING SO DARN BLOODY SHORT SIGHTED!!!!! I feel like a freak...

Yawnz

2007-07-31T22:04:00.000+08:00

Just when I am getting better, I can feel myself falling back in again...Just 3 days into squadron life, I already feel overwhelmed. Going in at 4, 5 in the morning without any idea what time you'll get to go home. Able to leave at 6pm is considered fortunate. So darn short staffed. Arhhhhhh. Miss the days back in training where all 7 of us 'attack' one plane. 'Chop chop' finish the tasks, 'chop chop' go home. To think, I had issues back then! Initially it was the work, hazard, responsibilities, pay etc. Now it's the duration and workload. Why is there so much to do? haiz..

And oh, if you have NEVER seen a F16 in your entire life.. Here's some.. Courtesy of f16.net

My Maiden Launch a/c 691 !!

Thought I saw you today a/c 695

More for your viewing pleasure...

Yes, these are all our local jets. No, you're not seeing anything confidential, it's taken off the net!

'Twins'

2007-07-29T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how similar people can look and how vastly apart their characters are...

Random thoughts...

Sometimes, if only I am a little bit older and not stuck in this cycle of growth... Arhhhh

Why..

2007-07-14T02:19:00.001+08:00

Do we long for something that we know we cannot have?

Reality Vs Ideals

Hope, has been the greatest strength of men, and his greatest weakness.

2nd Launch

2007-07-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

C-Model. A/C 609. Rush Factor: High. Stores: Low. Flickers: Clear. Brakes: Alright. Dessc Panel failed to close for the second time.

Recovery: Parallax error.

Overall: Satisfactory.

Maiden Launch

2007-06-26T19:55:00.001+08:00

D-Model, A/c 691. 0845. Nonsensical flickers and brakes check.

Free Labour Crew

2007-06-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

Let's see. After a day of work, I returned home having muscle aches all over me especially my legs, and I wonder why. Then I realized that I practically did not get the chance the sit down at all the entire day, other then a quick 10min lunch. Walking around getting tools, equipments, squatting underneath the plane for prolong period just to service a particular system, bending down to carry heavy load etc. Now I know why they ache like hell...

Come to think of it, I did not get the chance to break from my work at all the moment I start. I labor till I drop. At work, the adrenaline keeps me going and the stress keeps me focus. Once they depart, I will collapse faster than a sack of potatoes only to wake the next day with the same routine waiting for me. Only 2 days have passed. and I wonder how much longer I can endure this kind of lifestyle.

Weekends are coming, will someone pass me a bottle of sleeping pills so that I can knock myself out?

C'est Difficile

2007-06-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

Took a couple of online surveys and it seems that I have some mild symptoms of depression. Not that they are 100% accurate, but I kind of agree with them. No, I do not have suicidal thoughts, but I generally seem to have lost interest in things around me. I have become more self absorbed, lost in my own world. I feel restless but yet, it seems that nothing is able to kick me out of this nonsense. I feel more tired than normal, no matter how much rest I have. It seems that I have reached the stage whereby I can't be bothered with any and everything, almost.

18th June

2007-06-03T21:46:00.000+08:00

That day marks the beginning of 'eternal' misery. Misery that can only be explained in depression. No light, no joy, nothing. Just a heap of continuous labor, equivalence of free labor. Labor not for man but for the Lord they say. But it is so much easier said than done. Why do i feel my shoulders collapsing under loads of burdens, my knees being crushed.

'There is no future, there is no past, I live this moment as my last....' - RENT

What day is it?

2007-05-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

I woke up abruptly one night and wondered what time it is. 415am, the clock reflected. I stared at the ceiling and thought to myself, 'what day is today? Is it Wed, no wait, Thurs? No... It's Tues....' I swear that took me at least 15 secs just to figure that out.... Dear Dear...

Another Suitcase in Another Hall

2007-05-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it -- wouldn't you?

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me -- and they do

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by you always have before
Where am I going to?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of this sad occasion
But that's no consolation -- here and now

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by, you always have before
Where am I going to?
Don't ask anymore

No hidden implications.. Just a song that I miss... If you are wondering, it's from Evita...

Be Gone...

2007-05-17T18:19:00.000+08:00

I'm tired.. So just drown me, in misery and let me be on my way...

How do you spell Joy?

2007-05-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

I don't know...

New Chapter...

2007-05-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

Happy 21st birthday Wildfire! =)

I WANT TO BE FREE!!

2007-04-24T18:39:00.000+08:00

From myself included. Enough said.

What's Going On?

2007-04-15T17:08:00.000+08:00

Crossroads. Lots of it.

The whole world irritates me... Well almost...

I totally detest my current life.

I feel stretched in all directions and areas.

My devotion to Him is dying...

My affection for her is not any better...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll live...
By His mercy and grace...

Way Back Into Love

2007-04-06T12:55:00.001+08:00

I’ve been living with a shadow, over head
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud, above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
just in case I ever need them again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make through without a way back into love
Oh-oh

I’ve been watching
but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching
but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
there’s gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
and I’m open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping that you’ll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
and if you’ll help me to start again
you know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Don't Write Me Off Just Yet

2007-04-06T12:53:00.000+08:00

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody,
but this time there's actually something on my mind,
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines.

Since I met you my whole life has changed,
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged.
I was living in the past
but somehow you've brought me back,
and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax.

And now I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet.
All I'm asking you
is don't write me off just yet.

For years I've been telling myself the same old story,
that I'm happy to live off my so called former glories,
but you've given me a reason
to take another chance.
Now I need you despite the fact
that you've killed all my plants.

And now I know,
I've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get.
All I'm asking you is
don't write me off just yet.
Don't write me off just yet.

Joseph!!

2007-04-06T11:10:00.000+08:00

According to Christina, Joseph (London Cast) MAY be coming to town towards the end of the year!!!!

That, I can't miss!

Say Goodbye to Who You Are

2007-03-22T20:33:00.000+08:00

And embrace a brand new one that revolves around work, sleep and work. First taste of PDS life which was only about 1/10 of the actual one and I am already finding it demanding. Drop your belongings, change, then is work, work, work, work, work, work, work, 10min lunch (if you are fortunate enough), then work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, OT if necessary, home, sleep and wake to another day of routine all over again.

No, work does not involves sitting infront of a computer or in a comfy air conditioned office. It is on a hazardous machine which produces intense heat and extreme high decibel noise. Climbing on, under or even into it is part and parcel of work, even when it has just been shut down and is still giving off heat that is enough to split the ends of your hair. Count your blessings if you are not stricken with fumes poisoning when feeding it fuel, oil or hydraulic fluid. Should there be X chemical leak from the bugger, you better run for your life, which I happen to have the chance to do so today. Moving around the bugger especially when you are already fatigue stricken can be very mentally taxing. Standing between the empennage and the lift producing structure, I thought I saw a double horizontal stabilizer and almost knock against it. Oh well, all in a day's work. I should really count my blessings if I can go home, unhurt everyday.

MOSAIC' 07

2007-03-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

Phantom..

2007-03-18T20:20:00.000+08:00

I can't afford it, though it's considered cheap for a London cast. Let me know how it is, for those of you who are going. Thankfully it is not Michael Crawford nor Sarah brightman. If not I'll have to go rob a bank or something....

Hide your face, so the world will never find you...

Falling iLL

2007-03-15T20:07:00.000+08:00

It is always more or less in this order. Flu, sore throat, choked esophagus, muscle aches, giddiness, cough ......... fever.

I have everything, except fever. It's only a matter of time. I have been falling ill much lately since last year. Wonder why...

Fields Of Gold

2007-03-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold

So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Among the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We will walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
As you lie in fields of gold

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Among the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold

Old Classic....
Available for download on my multiply...

Simple Joy Of Ice...

2007-03-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

I miss it...
If only, there was a large empty ice ring for me to skate my hearts out, till i drop dead....
If only roads were made of ice...
If only, if only, if only...

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

2007-03-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like
Sister and Brother
We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Bridge:
Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

chorus:
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall, in love, with you?

http://www.lyrics007.com/Backstreet%20Boys%20Lyrics/
How%20Did%20I%20Fall%20In%20Love%20With%20You%20Lyrics.html

Just miss this song... Can download it from my multiply if you like it too, link's at 'Those Who Are Interested' under Alv's Álfheimr.

Price of love, sacrifice

2007-03-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

For God so love the world, that He gave His one and only begotten son... ...
He gave, willing, in order to reconcile us back to Him.

How much will you sacrifice, to pursue what you love or who you love? At what cost? Do you hold it back, or do you give it all?

And It All Begins...

2007-03-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh... I wonder how mine will be like. Longer working hours, shift, weekends burn... Deprive of my life and it is going out of the window. No more life, personnel time, family time, friend's time.
You might be saying, oh come on, it won't be that bad.... we'll see... hope I can avoid getting charged till I get out..

Other things on my mind... God willing, it will come to pass... Hang in there...

Face Down (100th Post!! =D)

2007-03-04T18:00:00.000+08:00

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy

one look puts the rhythm in my hand.

Still I'll never understand why you hang around

I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror

tell yourself it's never gonna happen again

you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man

when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end

as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect

every action in this world will bear a consequence

If you wade around forever you will surely drown

I see what's going down.


I see the way you go and say your right again,

say your right again

heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man

when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end

as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough

its coming round again.

(repeat)

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the grown?

Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end

as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says
I finally had enough..

(repeat)

http://www.completealbumlyrics.com/lyric/130453/

The+Red+Jumpsuit+Apparatus+-+Face+Down.html

All Good Things Come To An End...

2007-03-03T10:53:00.000+08:00

There goes my block leave... Kinda fast. Well, holidays are never enough. Manage to do almost everything that I had in mind, other than skating =( I miss the ice. If only there were more ice rings or a frozen pond somewhere to skate to. Haiz...

Where'd You Go?

2007-03-02T12:49:00.000+08:00

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like s**t,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little f***ed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
S**t, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little f***ed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little f***ed up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

Please come back home...

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fortminor/wheredyougo.html

What Do I Want For My 21st Birthday?

2007-03-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

A new pair of eyes. If only that is possible. Damage sustained has become irreversible. Lasik will only be an illusion that all is fine, but it's not. For the rest of my life, i'll have to go for check ups every 6 months to ensure that my retina is still in place. Each visit, will include eye drops that make your pupil's dilate before strong light is shone in. You have no idea how much that hurts, not to mention a conical shaped magnifying glass shafted into your eye to enhance the doctor's view. It makes you feel like trash.

Multiply.com

2007-02-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

It's just some random website that allows you to share stuff...
So do drop by and bum around..

http://realistalvin.multiply.com/

Finally it's over for another year...

2007-02-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

Just glad it's over.... Now location, new life at work.. Next public holiday.... Good Friday.... Long way to go...

Bow To Me!!!

2007-02-15T20:32:00.000+08:00

Wahahahahaha.... =P

Bodiless

2007-02-15T20:25:00.000+08:00

It's just simple physics... I'm sure you can figure it out ;)

Pity..

2007-02-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

That you don't last... But beautiful you still are.. Thank You =)

I So Want To Work In A Place Like That

2007-02-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

*Drools....*

Career Guidance Council

2007-02-04T21:03:00.000+08:00

Is what I need... Am I seriously going to venture into engineering? Sigh.. The only reason why I chose it is because it's a professional degree. Why I didn't chose business is because it's only 3 years and I fear of not being able to make it into the 4th. Besides, business degree is so common that if you pick anyone off the street, they probably hold a business degree too.

I pretty enjoyed the digital marketing internship that I did for 3 months, but I don't feel 'secured' enough doing that, not to mention I don't know what degree to do in order to be able to be successful in it. Oh well... Sigh...

Street blading..

2007-01-28T22:52:00.002+08:00

Had my first today.. From church to westcoast park. Thankfully the terrain was pretty merciful.. The thing with street blading is that is definitely much more stressful. By the time you reach your destination, you are just thankful that you reached there alive. lol

Park skating on the other hand is more enjoyable. You can allow yourself to pay no attention to the surrounding and simply enjoy the skate. Yea well, still not much confidence in my street skating ability, maybe till after i learn the hockey brake.

I know it was a stroll in the park for you, but I sure was freaked out when I have to witness that twice. Anyhow, lets try eastcoast the next time round. Somehow, I still miss skating there...

Munch Much...

2007-01-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

Esther's fat squirrel..
Feed me!! More!!

Random Pic

2007-01-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas... =D

I Don't See

2007-01-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

Any light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's too far away, too insignificant to be of any comfort. I hate this life of mine and I want my life back.
Life is only getting worst. After school, it will be base. Which is where all hell breaks loose. Life as a FLC isn't slack. In fact, according to the instructors, it will be very physically and mentally demanding and to top it off, you are not paid your due fair share. My signature will be worth about US $ 30 million while I am only worth 1/100000 of it. Seriously not looking forward to having nightmares about planes crashing or a 12hr work shift.

Sigh

CNY is coming. My most hated holiday of the year. The only holiday where time can be much more well spending doing other stuff. Who cares about CNY anyway. At least I don't. Complete waste of time.

The year has just started and I already want it to end. Wish there was a fast forward button in life.

First Blood Drew

2007-01-08T22:10:00.000+08:00

By my blades. 4 hours worth!! It was awesome. All possible because of you. =) Thanks once again! =)

It was fun blading with you Dianne. Hope to blade with you again in the near future... like 2 years later... =P Have a pleasant flight back to the States!

I Admit

2007-01-05T23:34:00.001+08:00

I have gotten playful...

Mugging...

2007-01-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

After 9 months, it's abit weird to be mugging again. Can't get use to it, not to mention the rate at which materials are delivered. 1 module a day, out of 10. 9 chapters for a start. 5 tests in Jan and exam in early Feb.
Must seriously tone down on my play time... Sigh...

First 2007 Post

2007-01-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

How fast time flies.. 2006 is history... Say hello to 2007! New year, new hopes, new wishes etc.. What's mine? Hmmm, have yet to seriously think about it. Oh well.. till then, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2006 Last Post

2006-12-31T00:26:00.000+08:00

Last Post Of The Year!!! Just for the sake of it. Hahahaha. Happy 2007 People!!! Hope you have enjoyed the long weekend!!

May the Lord blessings be on you for this year to come! =D

Blades! My First Pair

2006-12-29T17:53:00.000+08:00

My first pair of blades! (Maybe the last too) And it's all thanks to YOU!!
I don't feel deserving of such a gift, yet you want me to have it.

So Thank You, for they are lovely and so are you. =)

Injured Wrist

2006-12-29T17:49:00.000+08:00

I learnt it the hard way. I really should get wrist guards. They don't seem to be healing, at any rate.
Now, it affects my tennis. Inter-con coming in Jan, and I have hardely train for it. Oh well...

Hope it will heal soon enough...

5th Fever Of The Year

2006-12-29T17:43:00.000+08:00

What can I say, I am dying...

Perhaps the Lord is telling me it's time to go home... I honestly don't really mind...

No Comment

2006-12-25T15:01:00.000+08:00

I can feel it ticking away like a time bomb in me. It has exploded 4 times this year, and i fear of a fifth. I seriously cannot afford to get a fever again. Rest.... I need to rest... But time out are so precious. Flu bug is my new found best friend.

Striving for financial independence is so darn hard, especially when I on such a patheic payroll.

Time, I need more time... So many things, so little time. Wish there was a pause button in life..

Thank God for Roses... We adore you..

2006-12-25T14:41:00.000+08:00

Don't go....

2006-12-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

Oh rose… Why must you die so soon? Your beauty and grace touches the heart of many, and your death saddens us all. A sense of lost overwhelms us when we wake in the morning; too see you, withering, dying or even dead! We love you rose, please don’t go… Please don’t…

AFS

2006-12-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

I live in the West. Dots. Stayout for now, but... Trust me, it's what heck of a journey. Looks like I have to get use to changing 3 buses to get to my destination. Christmas coming! My only joy for now. But I haven prepared anything for anyone yet. -.-

I really want to get something nice for you. =(

If only...

2006-12-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

If only perfection exist, if only everything is perfect, if only reality is ideal, if only environments are utopia, if only creation was immaculate, if only plans are foolproof, if only the world is paradisiacal, if only, if only, if only…

If only I was never born…

Seduction Style?

2006-12-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

Tell me about it....

Blading!!

2006-12-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

I am so gonna get myself a pair of blades!! Tried out Thomas's blades and i felt that it was heaven sent!

My first blading experience was on rented skates, and it gave me such a bad experience that i never wanted to blade ever again! In less than half an hour, my feet was aching and i had to stop. =(

Blading and ice-skating is pretty similar. Now that i know blading can be so comfortable, i may be well on my way to get my own blades! though they can be pretty expensive... =(

Sigh...

2006-10-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

And it’s time. My turn to serve out my 2 years obligation. Oh well, I’m feeling down more of because I can’t get to present for Reformation Sunday than going in. I know the 2 pieces pretty well and yet I can’t present!!!! =(

Those who are not intending to go for Reformation, please go ya. The choir will be singing for both the morning and sunset service. So do go for at least one.

Till at least 2 weeks or next year, then I shall see you people.

Dianne and Hanjie, drop me an email when you guys are back.

Bye People!

Goodbye MEC

2006-10-01T21:02:00.000+08:00

Time flies, without a doubt. And now, it’s my turn to bid farewell to Mediaedge. This 12 weeks spend has been truly remarkable. What I have learnt, people that I have come to know etc, just simply amazing. It’s also at MEC where a new and extraordinary friendship was found and inspirations kindled.

So thank you MEC, for the memories.

How to fast forward the working days to the weekends 101

2006-09-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

By sleeping early! For most working adults, after work, they usually head home; too zonk out to do anything else. If you can minimize the time that you are consciously awake, before you know it, the weekends are here!

Why? We have 24 hours a day. We spend at least 8 hours at work, an hour on lunch, about an hour or 2 traveling to and from work. By the time you are done with dinner and shower, it is usually about 8 odd to 9 on average. Instead of turning in at 11, trying doing so at 10. Yes, it is rather early, agreed. But, but going to bed an hour or 2 earlier then usual, we will reduce the time that we are consciously awake by 5 – 10 hours! That means that the weekends will be here 5 – 10 hours earlier than usual!

A 5 day work week has 120 hours. An average person sleeps about 6 hours a day, meaning that he is consciously awake for 90 hours. However, if he sleeps 8 hours a day, he will only be consciously awake for 80 hours! This means that, instead of having to spend 3.75 days consciously awake before the weekend comes, he only have to wait 3.33 days! So if a person can afford to sleep 10 hours day, he will only have to wait 2.92 days!

So if you want to speed up ahead to the weekends, start by sleeping early! Not to mention the benefits of having sufficient rest.

Move On Dude

2006-08-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

Now I kinda understand why it is hard for people to not live in the past.

Looking back at memories is one thing, but the longing to return to it is another.

We live in a world that is ever changing. Everything is a variable instead of a constant.

It is better to had it than not to.

So move on, for nothing is meant to last.

Thanks For Everything Esther.

2006-08-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

A Halt To Choir?

2006-08-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

The church anniversary is my last presentation. Of the 3 practices to hymn presentation on 30 aug, i missed the first 2. 1st one, my lips were dry and it is cracking, making it tormenting to speak. 2nd one I wasn’t feeling well.

Last practice before presentation wk has no sectionals. A dumb ass like me cannot possibly learn my part when the piece is sung combined.
So I won’t be presenting with e choir for the rest of this year. This led me to another question. Should I still attend choir practice? Other than bible studies, it is rather pointless to put in effort to learn a piece and not present it.

Seems that my service to God has come to a halt. May thy mercy and grace be upon me.

Evita Original London Cast

2006-08-15T16:00:00.000+08:00

EVITA LONDON CAST! Something which I being eyeing on for quite sometime. The only reason why I didn’t get it is its hefty price tag.

Though I didn’t know the exact price, I figured it will be pretty expensive. The price range should be around Aspect’s. And I was right.

A very simple design covering and casing with 2 CDs. It is the most expensive CD in my library. A mind blowing of $39.90.
It’s not the one with Elaine Page, it is slightly older than that. Elaine’s is in 1978, this one is 1976.

This came to me as a gift from an old friend. Well not that old, only 4 years. Thanks man!

Next on my list is either Whistle Down The Wind or Sunset Boulevard. =P

Unexpected blessings

2006-08-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, blessings come from the most unexpected source. I feel so undeserving, yet it comes. Makes me feel kinda bad.

I wonder, what have I done to deserve such blessings? Nothing.

So a special thanks to the individuals who made the end of my 2 decades on earth one which I never expected it to be. Merci!

Interesting Tale

2006-08-03T10:40:00.000+08:00

Here’s a story. I find it rather interesting.

‘There was a time where we were all in our adolescence years. Where crushes were innocent and romance was fairy tale like. He liked her. She said no, reason being ‘We are too young to have a relationship’.

Nevertheless, they were still the best of friends, till they went to different secondary schools. They kinda lost contact till couple of years later. Each has their own life. They still remain pretty close friends. As far as He is concern, he treats her like his sister, pampering, giving into her, being there for her when she needs it, being a pillar of support when her world seems to tumble down. Likewise, She too has played a similar role from time to time.

But, it seems that her motive for doing so is questionable. He is a Christian. She claims to be one too. She had a couple of boyfriends, whom are all non-Christian. She is currently going out with one too.

He has advice her about dating non-Christians, but she willfully doesn’t listen. On one hand, She claims to be a Christian, and on the other, she is happily dating one who is not.

There is nothing this close friend can do. Thus He can only helplessly watch Her being ‘consumed’ by the adversary.

It is always easier to walk with the crowd than against the crowd.

Without a doubt, He is truly disappointed with her, forlornly being cast aside.’

This reminds me of Samuel, when he was rejected by the people of Israel. God said to Samuel, ‘It is me that they have rejected, not you.’

20th Birthday

2006-08-03T09:42:00.000+08:00

Am now officially a 20 year old. Special thanks to Esther for getting me into the birthday mood. She made me feel so pampered. That was sweet of you. Thanks.

Met up with Christine that night at HRC. It has been about 3 months since I last saw her. Poor girl, on the verge of being crushed under the weight of her work and studies. Imagine having to bunk over at the kinde just to finish up work. Despite of all these, she has manage to find time to go jogging with her colleagues weekly. On top of that, she even joined a couple of marathons! Impressive.

Honestly speaking, I was already contented with her taking time out from her ever assiduous schedule. But she remembered my birthday and even gave me a box of chocolate before we parted! Quite unexpected.

Well, not sure when will I get to see her again. Probably in the near future I hope.
Enjoy your get away in Bangkok!

Lake house

2006-07-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

It’s a romance flick with Keanu Reeves looking incredibly charming at 41. For synopsis of the show, visit the site at http://thelakehousemovie.warnerbros.com/.

What makes this show unique? The plot where time is the foundation that it is built upon. Though it is purely fantasy, think about it. So near, yet so far. Tragic. Also, the soundtracks compose by Rachel Portman fits the show perfectly well. The Lake House itself is a beauty of its own, just gorgeous. Last but not least, there is always Keanu Reeves to look out for.

I thoroughly enjoyed the show till the end. Shall not be a spoiler, but I will have preferred the original Korean version ending. Probably the directors didn’t want to break the hearts of all Keanu fans. *Ops*

Initially, I wanted to get the soundtrack. But after watching the show, I felt that by listening to the soundtracks without the plot unfolding before me is relatively incomplete, so guess not.

Vinnie’s verdict: 7/10 (slightly bias, as I will prefer the Korean ending)

It’s a must watch for all Keanu Reeve fans and a good flick for those who is in the mood for fantasy romance.

Enjoy!

What's going on....?

2006-07-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

What is the worst thing about learning a beautiful song? Nothing, except when you are not going to present it. ‘The ways of God’, is the piece that the choir will be presenting on Reformation Sunday, 30 Oct. It’s simple, lovely and just simply catchy.

Where will I be on 30 Oct? On an island, being barked at.

Suddenly going for choir practice seems to be an irony. Other then the hymn presentation in August, I just simply see no reason to attend. I can’t present on the 30th and Christmas is doubtful. Well, I don’t even know if I can still attend practices after I enlist.

This feeling really sucks. Putting in effort, trying to sing the piece well, yet at the end of it, I know I am not even going to present it. Isaac asked why I am learning it. For a spilt second, I didn’t know what to say. So I simply laughed it off.

Yea, why am I learning it? Why put in the effort to even attend the practices after August? It is only service to God when you present it and let it be a blessing to the congregation.

Well, my birthday is round the corner, and for some reason or another, I just don’t seem to be the least excited about it. I don’t even know what I want for my birthday. What is going on with me? I wonder. Right now, out of the blue I guess almost everything seems to have lost its appeal.

Everything seems to be so fake. People included. Am I going insane? Maybe I am suffering from depression after all. I guess my problem is I think too much. Too much nonsensical thoughts, throwing myself into a state of delusion.

Am I back sliding? I know I am not, probably just a spiritual low.

(Listening to Fort Minor’s Where’d you go while typing this. Strange, how I told Esther that I didn’t really like this song, but ends up it’s the only song that I want to listen to now.)