Another day
I cant let go, even if i wanted to.
I cant not care, even if i wanted to.
I really wish i can just not give a damn about it, and try and lead a happier life despite being where I am.
Each day is like a dread. Weekends are an illusion.
I find my rebellious self taking dominant.
I've made my choice, and am playing with my future. Standing alone, facing the oncoming slaughter of doubts.
You want so much from me, but yet not willing to give any in return. Or am I expecting too much because of what i've given you?
There is no peace nor rest. Even my dreams are haunted.
I don't know what to do...
I find no strength..
By His grace and mercy, I'm still here.. to face another day.
I cant not care, even if i wanted to.
I really wish i can just not give a damn about it, and try and lead a happier life despite being where I am.
Each day is like a dread. Weekends are an illusion.
I find my rebellious self taking dominant.
I've made my choice, and am playing with my future. Standing alone, facing the oncoming slaughter of doubts.
You want so much from me, but yet not willing to give any in return. Or am I expecting too much because of what i've given you?
There is no peace nor rest. Even my dreams are haunted.
I don't know what to do...
I find no strength..
By His grace and mercy, I'm still here.. to face another day.
posted by aLv @ 9:39 PM
1 Comments:
hi alv,
from what you've written, you seem to be trying to fulfill someone's expectations of you. you want this person to like you, yet you don't agree with the expectations.
it's a dangerous thing for you to crave man's favour. dangerous because you are living for man. man can never be fully pleased. or you might have misread the expectations. either one could be the reason for your being tormented.
live for God, remember?
also, God has not given us a spirit of fear but a sound mind. it's more than just saying you live by His grace and mercy.
you are a new creature, as God calls it, when you give your life to Jesus. so no more living without God as your king. make a conscious effort to remember this.
God knows your limitations, goals and strengths. consciously commit in prayer everything to Him. and i mean everything.
use the sound mind He has given you, alv.
ee na
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